| |
| |
|
Attraction Information |
|
|
|
The Inner Critic Unveiled
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
You may ask what is "the inner critic", but you are very familiar with it already. Remember the last time you made a seemingly bad decision and the little disembodied voice in your head whispered knowingly "Way to go! You really messed that up. Haven't you learned anything? How totally inept can you get." Viola! Enter, stage left, the inner critic. Also know as your "inner dialog" your "scripts or tapes" and some people mistake it for their conscience. Everyone has an inner critic, some have a more aggressive critic than others. In the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", Stephen Covey refers to it as the scripts that have been handed to us by parents, society, cultural influence, friends, co-workers etc. It is the concept of how other's perception of us and our behavior shapes that inner critic so we perpetuate that perception - "it must be so, they see it." People's perception of us does not make it so. Mr. Covey uses an example from the play "Man of La Mancha" where Don Quixote sees a lovely and virtuous person in a woman of the street. He even gives her a new name, but she can't see beyond the scripts that have been handed to her for years that she is a shameful creature. The Patrick Overton quote above shows the perpetuation of such a situation. And it all starts with our inner thought life, our inner dialogue. Dale Carnegie states "Remember, happiness doesn't depend upon who you are (position, influence) or what you have (money), it depends solely upon what you think." But how does the inner critic come to be, you ask? Actually, the inner critic started out as a very important aspect of our life growing up. I believe I can state without backlash that most all human beings want to avoid pain, all pain, even emotional pain! But you can't be alive, on this planet/dimension, and not have the close calls and occasional brushes with at least some pain - no matter how charmed a life you have. But the developing individual in the child keeps a scoreboard of experience in life as part of understanding the workings of the world. Before long the scoreboard gets a voice, "you know the last time Suzy broke something you took the blame." Before you know it you have an inner critic who is trying to protect you, keep you from pain of every conceivable kind. A "protector" who takes on a life of it's own. So why isn't the inner critic considered your dearest and closest friend? After all, who else will go to such trouble and gymnastics to keep you safe and out of harm's way! But here's the rub, this is where we get the concept of our "comfort zone", better known as our self-imposed prison. Oh yes! That inner critic becomes the jail keeper and you find yourself going through the motions of life never taking the risks or grabbing the opportunities that come your way. And what is life in a prison (no matter how nicely furnished or comfortable)? This is how so very many people live a life full of regrets "if I had only had the guts to try that idea", "If only I had accepted that job." "I always wanted to ____________, if only I had." Or even worse than all the others "I would have really liked to have that life, but I am not worthy." The inner critic can very easily destroy self esteem, built upon some careless and hurtful word said at some point in our past and the scoreboard keeps a tally of the minutia that supports such a statement! Another example of your inner critic turned your jailer is the tendency to always question your decisions or experience. Do you need to have somebody validate your decisions were good ones or your experience is true or common? Even something as simple as a $2 purchase you fret over if you made the right choice. This is the inner critic, so-to-speak, out of control. Now for the true death sentence for the inner critic, ever heard of the "self-fulfilling prophecy?" The theory that, if you believe in a certain outcome, you will act in such a way that you actually bring about just that outcome. So, if your inner critic keeps telling you that you really don't deserve such-and-such, you are likely to act in a way to make sure you don't get it. An emerging theory that is gaining acceptance, known as the law of attraction says "as within, so without." As your inner dialog/scripts define your "reality" then the outer world of form and substance will manifest just that. Essentially, you will attract into your life just what your inner thoughts keep saying! So, how do you or I stop, or at least change, the inner critic? How do you counter the years of self-programming? Below I give an exercise to start on the path right now, today. But, part 2 of this article, "Affirmations to the Rescue" will go into more details about how to truly start countering and combating the inner critic and start on your path to personal freedom. The next part of this article we will get more in depth with the most effective ways to reverse the damage and throw open the prison doors! But right now you need to start becoming increasingly aware of your inner critic, sensitize yourself. 1) The best way to begin is to carry with you a compact notebook and start recording your inner dialog/tapes/critic etc. This doesn't mean recording blow-by-blow each thought, but it does mean jotting down the general idea. An acute awareness is the first step, so take that travel size notebook everywhere with you. As you take notes in such an analytical approach, you may start to make connections of how such scripts/dialog may have started. 2) A second activity would be to tackle that inner critic and observe what responses it throws in your face. Start by writing down something you want to do that is truly outside your comfort zone and then note each of the thoughts that run through your head in response. Keep writing as long as arguments keep coming up. Can you identify how or where you may have developed such scripts? These exercises will greatly assist you when we get to part two! An example from my personal life follows. I was on the phone with my mother, when she said "don't dream so big, you'll only be disappointed." I was throwing my hands in the air - AHA! That is where that particular script came from for me! And it made sense, my mother, a depression era child, with mostly bitter disappointments in life had just existed in life, eking out enough to keep good clothes on us and live in safe neighborhoods with decent schools. She had a rigid "comfort zone" which didn't include dreaming - even about a vacation. I have to give her credit, she survived as a single parent when it wasn't acceptable, managed to raise me without any major hiccups and saw me on my way into adulthood. But she may never realize that her approach robbed her of any vibrancy and joy in her life. By understanding the inner critic I have compassion for my mother, but I also fully recognize that I don't want that in my life and I have the choice to break down those limiting thoughts and scripts. You do too! About The Author Ms Morrison has spent nearly twenty years in the fortune 500 corporate settings as well as the Department of Defense industry. She holds a Bachelors in Business Administration with an emphasis in management and a Bachelors of Arts in Sacred Theology. She is a member of the International Association of Coaches and is trained through Coachville.
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
The Inner Critic Unveiled Watch your thoughts; they become words.Watch your words; they become actions. Dreams When I was a kid sitting in school I can remember looking out the window daydreaming of mountains, and skiing. These were just a few things I dreamed of doing. Is Effortless Prosperity Really Possible? Dear friends,Whenever I read the words "effortless prosperity" a chain reaction of thoughts immediately starts in my mind. I ask myself these questions. Do You Want Raspberry, Chocolate Or Vanilla? Descartes once wrote, "I think, therefore I am!" and 'hidden' in plain view amongst those five small words - for all the world to see - lays the secret to unlimited success. Do you see it? Oh all right? I'll 'fess up. Five Ways To Create On Purpose By Living In The Moment What can you do to really immerse yourself into living more consciously every day? "We look backward too much and we look forward too much; thus we miss the only eternity of which we can be absolutely sure - the eternal present, for it is always now." - William Phelps 1 - NOW is the only moment that matters. Respect Is A Four-Letter Word One of the most important needs for every human being is the need to be respected. It doesn't matter if you or anyone else is a corporate executive, host of your own television show, short-order cook, Wal-Mart greeter or stay-at-home parent. Making New Friends How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into a new city or a new job or a new school, how do we go about making a new friends? Most of us don't really think about it, but just sort of allow people to float in and out of our lives without really paying any attention to how we pull new people into our lives.Years ago, my son was four years old and starting preschool. Change Thorns into Flowers If you had to write an annual appraisal on yourself how would you describe yourself?? Are you a mental sprinter who sees things quickly and easily? Do you react to things in a flash? Are you capable of making quick decisions?? Do you find yourself watching others and saying to yourself, I could do that so much quicker?? Do you find yourself taking on more work because you felt it was easier and quicker for you to do it? Do you feel that you waste so much time waiting for others to complete work?? Do you feel irritable inside? Do you get frustrated because others don't seem to understand what you are saying and where you are going?? Do you find you always want to hurry things up? Do you feel more comfortable when things are concluded rather than left waiting?? Do you find yourself running out of patience with partner, children, colleagues because they seem to take more time or appear to lack concentration and go off on 'stupid' tangents which have little or no relevance to the project?? Are you the alert, quick acting person who is known as the achiever?? Are you that person who is good at developing ideas and keeping them on track?If you own up to a couple or more of these traits and feel really irritable and impatient with yourself and those around you. If you feel that you are always clock watching. Compounding Effect of Selfishness Five-year-old Katie asked for a coin for her to throw into a fountain at a local shopping centre. She was given one, and duly walked over to the fountain, stopped for a few seconds, and threw it into the water, and came back to us, smiling. How To Get Lucky Would you like to get lucky? There are at least a dozen ways. The simplest one is to just start looking for good luck. Finders Keepers Do you remember your younger years when you and your friends played all sorts of fun games all day long? I'm sure you do. If there is one thing children know how to do, they know how to have fun. The Number One Secret to Success in Business Clarity!If there is such a thing as a "secret" to success in business (or life) then Clarity is it. Clarity IS the first step towards designing your ideal business. How to Play to Your Strengths Are you clear on your unique qualities, talents and personal strengths? And what's more do you centre your life around these gifts?You're busy, trying to be a good worker, colleague, partner, parent, friend and neighbour; you've been brought up with parents and peers ideals, educated well, maybe have a religious background, and perhaps a little of your past behaviour might been influenced by something you saw on TV or in a movie.In fact, maybe? just maybe? and you're not alone here? some of your thinking and behaviour belongs to what others have told you to think or feel in any given situation. What Next? When we are faced with making a change we often feel like we don't know what to do. The kicker is that USUALLY we do know what to do - it just happens to scare us a little bit. Law of Attraction Article: Do You Know About The Power Of Flow? Flow is the quality of ease that can be integrated into a life to give it the look and feel of almost effortless achievement. It's not as elusive as it may seem. It Doesnt Take Long To Become An Expert in The Law of Attraction One of our Faculty, Christine Edick, has been the keynote speaker for several conferences for people in the 'career transition' industry. She received this short story, from one of the attendees, which demonstrates how easy it is to understand the Law of Attraction and to teach it to others. Teach Me Who You Are We all have a privately held belief system that defines who we think we are. This belief system is composed of ideas that we have accumulated over time that we think describe us accurately. How Often Each Day Should I Read or Say My Desire Statement? The purpose of the Desire Statement is to support you in giving attention, energy and focus to your newly birthed desire. It teaches you how to language desires so they feel good. Top 10 Ways to Use Attraction To Build Your Business Most business people would rather have customers seek us out based on a strong personal referral from a satisfied customer, than go to the expense of mass advertising. It's called marketing through attraction. How to Develop the Awesome Power of Getting Other People to Cooperate With You Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you never had to "lock horns" with other people? Well, there are some skills that you can learn.Try this.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
