| |
| |
|
Attraction Information |
|
|
|
Courage To Be Someone New
Have you ever felt paralyzed or crippled by fear? As a businesswoman, producer, and model through my various business ventures, I've felt fearful from time to time. And I'm sure that, like me, you've found that you can accomplish little when you're afraid -- and almost nothing if you let fear of what might happen seize you. Fear freezes the mind, erases possibilities and clouds opportunities; and it makes most matters we're fearful about seem disproportionately greater than our ability to deal with them. However, I've learned that you and I have the ability to put fear in its rightful place -- a place where we don't have to stay. Yet sometimes situations we're frightened about have to get worse before things can get better. Sometimes not until something or someone hurts us and/or wounds us badly or deeply enough do we realize that we have to go beyond fear to make a change. I remember vividly some of the most unpleasant challenges I've had to face to earn respect and defeat fear. In 1987, I moved from my homeland, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, to Vancouver, Canada, to continue high school for post-secondary education. I found myself a stranger there -- a funny looking "foreign" girl with a bad haircut and poor English skills. And soon, I became the prime target for the supposedly "cool" high school kids around me to antagonize. And believe me, they did their best to make my life miserable. I couldn't hide from them; they seemed to be everywhere, taunting me. They'd throw objects at me from behind my back; they'd push and trip me when I wasn't looking. They'd sabotage my every chance to be part of any extra school activity I wanted to pursue; they'd point at me and laugh, call me names, and torment me in countless other ways, too. But because I was extremely unfamiliar with Canadian culture and lifestyles, and for fear that I might say or do something wrong, I decided I'd just tolerate the situation. Though I was already a competitive martial arts fighter in the process of earning my second black belt in Karate, (a sport I've been involved in since I was eight years old), I didn't feel that I should utilize those skills. Again, I feared I might provoke my tormentors further and possibly even incite them to extend harm to my family. So during most of those high school years I allowed emotions like fear, loneliness, anxiety, anger and sadness to consume me. Yet eventually even those feelings, however negative, forced me to find courage to turn my situation in positive directions, and as a result I can now help others in similar circumstances to do the same. I decided that every time my tormentors tried to start a fight with me, I would look each of them in the eyes and just calmly walk away. What worse could happen than that they'd push me, laugh and call me names? However, one afternoon, things did turn worse. That afternoon I felt a couple of small objects hit the back of my head. As usual, bursts of laughter behind my back followed, and I continued on my way, refusing to even acknowledge this petty behavior. But this time I made no effort to keep my eyes on my tormentors as I walked away. Suddenly one of them decided to run up and strike me in the left eye. In an instant, I realized that she had crossed a boundary and endangered a vital organ of my body, and this I simply couldn't ignore. Before she could blink, with a crowd of students as my witnesses, I unleashed a kick that dropped her to the ground. Quickly, two of her friends leaped at me to defend her. Soon they, too, were picking themselves up, and then all three made a run for it, leaving me standing there. Now I began to feel the throbbing pain in my left eye -- and discovered that it was bleeding. For many years, I'd tried to avoid confrontations with my tormentors. But that afternoon they'd made confrontation inevitable, and I had put fear aside and finally let them know who I truly was. Now I wondered what the consequences of my retaliation would be. Shortly after the fight I was called into the principal's office. There I was told that the three girls who started the fight had been suspended from school. The other students who'd witnessed the encounter had reported the story of the attack and my self-defense. Luckily for me, they all supported my actions. I was free to return to class unpunished. After that day, things took a clear turn for the better. My "tormentors" stopped harassing me; from then on they only looked away whenever I passed by them. When a new school year began, some of them left to attend different schools, though some of them remained at my school. Some of them even stopped being each other's friends -- and others decided to start greeting me with smiles. That year -- my last -- in high school, I finally was able to make some good friends, direct numerous extracurricular activities, coach the basketball and volleyball teams and even serve as captain of the cheerleading squad. As my life has unfolded since then, throughout my varied career I've had many fortunate opportunities to assist diverse groups of women through some of their own challenging moments in life. Of course, through these experiences, I've broadened my own knowledge about career, socializing, love, relationships, family and much more. Along the way I've been able, in turn, to assist, inspire and empower a great number of women along their journeys in life, for which they've pointedly thanked me in one way or another. And whether they know it or not, their exercise of courage that made their lives better, plus their trust in me, have been all the thanks I've ever needed. They've truly inspired me to constantly grow, transform and become a better person. A few years ago, while I was out of town, Lidiya, an assistant in one of the companies I founded, hired two new recruits to join our team. She formally introduced me to them when I returned from my trip. One recruit happened to be a chief "tormentor" of mine from high school. She didn't recognize me until Lidiya introduced me by my first and last names. Then, my former tormentor's jaw dropped and her face froze. But I reached out and shook her hand and welcomed her to our team. Later, she approached me abashedly and tried to apologize for what had happened in the past. I told her not to worry; it was quite all right with me. To help her feel comfortable, I then took her out for lunch. When we got back to the office, I jokingly told her, "Get back to work now!" and we laughed together. Since then, she's become one of my most cherished workers. Can you see how learning to make the best of every situation, including that painful one at school, has led me to discover something great -- that courage begins with character? Courage not only means being able to do something new, it also means being able to be someone new. The ultimate measure of a person is not where they stand in moments of comfort, but where they stand in times of challenge and controversy. I've come to learn that growing into a good, solid character requires rising to levels of self-esteem that so many of us doubt we have. One way by which you can enhance your own self-esteem is to do as I did, and make it really clear to those around you who you truly are. When you know who you truly are, and act based on who you truly are, you'll realize, as I did back then in high school, that no one can harm you unless you choose to keep them around and allow them to trouble you. Copyright © 2005 Penny Phang Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved. Penny Phang is one of Canada's nominated Top 40 Under 40 business leaders, recognized for her commitment to provide strategic business services with inspiring enthusiasm, creativity, and elegance. She is also well known as the Producer for Playboy Special Editions for Western Canada. In addition, she remains involved in full-service business communications with her founded Simplex Communications Group, and continues to write for her monthly inspirational lifestyle column, Moments of Inspiration with Penny. Miss Phang's experiences are not limited to the business world. She holds two black belts in Karate and was a member of the West Coast Warriors National Karate Team. She's also a former Top 20 Special Editions Celebrity Model whose inspiring personality has been transformed into "Penny" the 3-D animated character for Electronic Arts' Def Jam Vendetta video game. For more information go to: http://www.phangenterprises.com/
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Buying the Myth So much life conditioning inhibits the brilliance that is in you. Are you accessing all that is available to you? As a brilliant coach, as a brilliant human-being, as a brilliant spiritual being, as a bright light in the world, you have access to so much abundance. Reminding Yourself of Prosperity Have you ever heard the phrase, "Thoughts are things and words have wings?" This phrase is the perfect expression of the principle of prosperity. How you think about and talk about your level of prosperity is what actually manifests in your life. A Look In The Mirror That's all it takes to change the world. Take a long hard look in the mirror and really notice who you are. Discover the Magical Power of Pulling Heartstrings ...Its Mindblowing! I wish you never have to go through that kind of pain!Last week, I was on the breath-taking island of Puerto Rico at a resort on the beach enjoying the crashing waves of the ocean and the cool breeze. If you don't know by now, I am an observer. Plug in with a Pupose! Imagine that each person on this planet carried with them a teaspoon of soil or rock from Mt. Everest. Paradigm Shift Good Morning! It's the Island outlaw here again. You know after my little tirade yesterday about Integrity and ethical behavior I felt compelled to speak on the subject of the paradigm shift in wealth consiousness. Do You Have Tickets To Your Dream Theater? I'd like you to do an exercise with me.I want you to use your imagination to construct a dream theater. Power Affirmations Are Not Enough I hope this article finds you safe and well. I'm sure you have been as moved as I have in watching the devastating damage caused by Hurricane Katrina. The Law of Attraction - Make it Work For You The Law of Attraction responds to whatever vibration you are sending out into the Universe. You will receive more of what you are vibrating whether it is desired or not. The Secret Weapon For Gaining Wealth Recently a friend of mine was talking about all the opportunities that seem to come her way without her even searching for them. For example, someone tells her about a house she can buy as a rental property investment. On Uniqueness Is being special or unique a property of an object (let us say, a human being), independent of the existence or the actions of observers - or is this a product of a common judgement of a group of people?In the first case - every human being is "special", "one of a kind, sui generis, unique". This property of being unique is context-independent, a Ding am Sich. Who Do You Want to Meet? One of the goals that I encourage my clients to work on is to create a list of people they wish to meet.What kind of people?People who inspire them! (a religious leader)People who they admire! (a person who gives with all their heart!)People who they would love to interview! (a newsmaker)People whose books they've read! (who is YOUR favorite author?)People who they'd love to cook dinner for! (a famous chef maybe?)When I heard about this technique I wasn't really sure I believed it, but I thought it couldn't hurt to try - so I made my list. The Winning Combo! What do we all strive for in life? Success! Success is the ultimate destination. Every one of us has the good intentions and capacity to achieve something but we lack the follow-through. Want to Feel Rich? Shop Til You Drop... Just about everybody gets them.. How to Start a Conversation Effortlessly The ability to converse effortlessly with those you encounter is a critical component of all your personal and business relationships.Good communication skills promote an image of self-confidence and intelligence. First Impressions - Turn Fear Into Courage The top business people all say the same thing - first impressions count. Sounds easy, and it is easy for those few who can start a conversation with just about anyone but how many people do you know who are like that?On the other hand when you're shy it's easy to avoid other people, shyness automatically comes with a PhD in how to creatively avoid people, especially strangers!However this tendency can prove detrimental to your business especially when you consider that your ultimate success can depend on approaching people and making a great first impression. If You Want Others to Like You, Like Yourself First! Many of us mistakenly believe that it's wrong or conceited, to think we have any good qualities. We may spend a lot of time berating ourselves for our negative qualities, thinking that self criticism is the key to improving our performance. Follow Your Passion The key to a successful life lies in following your passions. When you do this the Universe responds in a dynamic way. Stopping Time Six hundred feet straight down! Nothing to break the fall. I've got to switch channels. Do You Want Raspberry, Chocolate Or Vanilla? Descartes once wrote, "I think, therefore I am!" and 'hidden' in plain view amongst those five small words - for all the world to see - lays the secret to unlimited success. Do you see it? Oh all right? I'll 'fess up.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
